It’s a metaphor of course. Another quote I’ve been inspired by recently, having discovered the series ‘Mozart in the Jungle’. Used more than once by the series’ protagonist Rodrigo, the creative-yet-slightly-lost-genius, hired as the new conductor of the New York Symphony Orchestra, it is meant to mean, ‘play with passion!’ In a musical sense, that entails not only calling upon your formal training and knowledge of theory to follow the notes on the page, but to pour your soul into the melody, feel it, breathe it, and in that moment, live it. Be the music, don’t merely play it.
I find myself yet again inspired by the idea of surrender to and immersion in a creative pursuit. The idea of living for and from your talents, and from something other than the status quo of average employment and minimum wage. I’ve been listening to more classical music this week and yesterday I went out with my two small children on a chaotic shopping trip to buy the remaining tools, screws, and nails that I need to finish, or at least make some good progress on the playhouse project that I began a few weeks ago and have been chipping away at in a very piecemeal fashion around work and everything else. I shall have to wait until Monday and the return to school before I can dedicate another couple of hours to it.
That’s a small project, out of which I’m getting a good deal of slow burning pleasure, but what I’m really talking about here is an urge, no, a need to use a deeper level of my being more consistently. Daily, in my work, on my own, with my children, with my wife. I hate to admit that the majority of my life has become a reaction to circumstances. Bouncing from one ‘job’ to the next out of necessity without any thought given to whether or not I actually want to spend my time doing that work. A reaction to the demands of parenthood. The constant planning around school timings, meals, bedtimes. Occupying the children, encouraging them to occupy themselves, planning activities, booking time off work, not having the money or energy to make the most of it. Resenting work. Being frustrated with myself. Impatient for change. Improvement. Insufficiently decisive. Totally unsatisfied on a personal level. From wife and family, I could not wish for better. I have all the love and support at home that I could ever hope for, and more. It is from myself that I should ask more. And ask differently. I’ve not been asking enough of the right questions.
What do I want? What inspires me to action? Where are my interests? Why am I not following any of them professionally? What is preventing me from doing more of something I love, or that I´m at least interested in? How can I inject more blood into my life? Live with more passion, more inspiration. Channel my energy more effectively. Appreciate, and use well, the time that I have, every day. Find the joy in living a fulfilled life.
Stuart Westwood 